It can be quite something to individuate from entanglement for uncomplicated relationship.
It can be quite something to loosen self-sufficiency for regenerative synergy.
So from there, how do we continue to relax our defenses against the world…
…after we’ve found a couple sturdy enough people who won’t cling desperately?
…after a big band of endearment breaks our avoidance?
…after someone’s big tender respect for us breaks our excessive congeniality?
…after feeling the humility of our learning errors?
…after we’ve acknowledged who and what got us here?
When we grow, we have to change. It can take a minute for the benefits of costly change to outweigh the costs of staying where we’re at. And in change, we might have to revisit and compost some more the wounds of our original belonging - the tendency to get too close, run away…to shrink…get defensive or inflamed…or some other symptomatic revisiting of our systems rearranging.
So maybe we’ll have to take a refresher on those balancing acts that freed us from an original imbalance.
If we lean too far into the vision and away from the people who got us there, we might tire and tend to lazily-yet-hastily employ the soulless games and gimmicks of greed…unconsciously sabotaging what we’ve been building.
If we get high off of our progress, we might forget to thank and give back to our allies and accompanists, going at a pace that honors them or keeps them with us. If this goes on too long, we might lose our progress as we endeavor to expand and then we’ll find ourselves without the necessary width of our belonging to keep going.
We can be brilliant with many faculties but if we become hubristic and aren’t humble about the humans helping us, we’ll find ourselves all alone again.
We don’t need to be ashamed of our desires to grow and expand and be one with our vision. However, our freedom is paradoxically bound up in others. Our emergent freedom can grow when we’ve collected the capacity to withstand feedback and risk rejection asking for what we need.
On the other hand, if we get too close with too few too fast who are emerging with us, we’ll get enmeshed and entangled and implode from the inside. We must not give away parts of ourselves in over-devotion to the other. Our own connection to the forces of love and life must come first. So in this case, more of the cozy visionary within is in order.
We can be really great at relationship building but over-focus on the connecting and not enough on where we’re going does not serve the forward-facing harmony with the people we are so excited about.
We don’t need to be ashamed of our excitement to unite forces with the other but if we don’t remember to slowly build the weight of our synergistic formation, we might find ourselves collapsed or imprisoned.
-
So for some, it’s a balancing through a little bit more of the rapport building and the vulnerable communication that calibrates and navigates the complexity of relationship.
For others, it’s a balancing through a little bit more sovereign stepping out and forward without everyone in our lives in perfect understanding and agreement to us and our vision.
Of course, there are many other balancing acts, too. What is it for you?
To balancing between “where’d everybody go?” and “there’s no space for me anymore”!