courting the collapse of control

I cradle this collapse in my arms,

Arms strengthened by years of chest presses

Fortified by the shouldering of incubatory compressions

Years spent in a thin cocoon, never quite in or out of it

As I caress the once-but-no-longer-serving abstractions and fantasy-fueled attachments,

I simultaneously and quite tenderly loosen and untie them

And then next

I Allow them.

First a reprieve and then a release

I further kindle the undoing with a bit of ash and tinder

A post-heat-wave cool 67 degree breeze

With the dirt that’s happily secured inside my wide nail beds,

I kiss it with lips which touched lifetimes of apocalyptic-utopian air

The kiss turns cough, conjuring up preverbal grief

The grief is what’s most nitrifying here

Next, the most precious element for a full sun

The flooding, a wellspring-level watering

For flowers, and not just cacti

But for mesopotamian-ancient pickling-emergent apple blossoms

To complete the concoction fertilizing the soul’s sacred orchard,

A too-long-minimized going-back-through, a recycling back to bypassed self-indulgence

And now, a post defragmentation neural reprogramming

Psycho-celestial acupuncture

Threads and tentacles return to roots and shoots

Control collapses to spontaneous paths of authenticity, guided by soul-led agency