My brother can write big shaky letters very slowly and words if someone tells him the letters. He can recognize some words but mostly, he cannot read. What he lacks in these cold intelligences, he makes up for in his warm intelligences of kindness, compassion and magnanimity.
He cannot help me with too much in the sense of problem solving or advice for navigating the weights of worldly responsibility. And yet he is the greatest example of full-being compassion I have ever known.
One time, after having experienced an abuse of the patriarchy, I decided to really let it out so as to not internalize it. He came to me and asked with a depth of calm-yet-concerned alertness, “What happened?”
I told him that someone had hurt my feelings. He gave me a big bear hug as I was shaking. Next, he played me his John Denver CD and I rested as he sang it to me while making paper chains. Justin has found such great accompaniment in his music, extensive catalog collection and paper chains craft. His long-time embodied dedication to these gave him great confidence that I could find some peace there, too.
I can contain quite a lot. I am good at holding a lot of complexity and intensity without reaction. This competence began when I was born, being born into big adversity and also big accompaniment. I am fortunate to have extensive education, experience and training and at the end, whatever it is, I am always reminded of where I truly learned it all: being Justin’s little sister.